Sunday, January 26, 2014


I want to be God's pure vessel, loving God and loving others.  I desire to be a servant, pouring out my life for the success of others.  I'm finding more and more joy as I develop a deeper friendship with my mom.  She truly has done so much for our family.  She doesn't just give us healthy food and train us in the ways of the Lord and love my dad, she PRAYS for us.  I can't count the number of times she's let me know she's praying for me..
Now to the topic of songs.  The song "All I Have is Christ" by Sovereign Grace Music is sooo meaningful to me.  It hold so many precious memories.  It has held a lot of tears, of surrendering my desires to the Lord so He can have His way.  I want God to do His will in my life.  I want to live for Him.  Truly God must be glorified, and He is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.  God is so gracious.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

2 0 1 4

I think sometimes I embarrass myself so much..and there was an ending to that idea but I forgot what I was going to say..
John Cacioppo on loneliness and Facebook:
'Loneliness burrows deep: “When we drew blood from our older adults and analyzed their white cells,” he writes, “we found that loneliness somehow penetrated the deepest recesses of the cell to alter the way genes were being expressed.” Loneliness affects not only the brain, then, but the basic process of DNA transcription. When you are lonely, your whole body is lonely.'

"We are living in an isolation that would have been unimaginable to our ancestors, and yet we have never been more accessible. Over the past three decades, technology has delivered to us a world in which we need not be out of contact for a fraction of a moment. In 2010, at a cost of $300 million, 800 miles of fiber-optic cable was laid between the Chicago Mercantile Exchange and the New York Stock Exchange to shave three milliseconds off trading times. Yet within this world of instant and absolute communication, unbounded by limits of time or space, we suffer from unprecedented alienation. We have never been more detached from one another, or lonelier. In a world consumed by ever more novel modes of socializing, we have less and less actual society. We live in an accelerating contradiction: the more connected we become, the lonelier we are. We were promised a global village; instead we inhabit the drab cul-de-sacs and endless freeways of a vast suburb of information."

Friday, January 3, 2014


I wondered why the fire had been started in my heart.  that one year.  the music was both the embers and the glow.

To each his own.  Funny, isn't it, how my gaze had not stayed for long on any?  I was-was I not?-continually drawn AWAY.  What was it about this time?  Surely the others could be viewed as accomplices.

I never meant to..I simply meant to be wholesome, intelligent, and quite quite witty.

Farewell, I had said, to my heart's desires.  Bless his soul.  Surely he was the one.  I loved him.  Agape love.

I love him still.  What if my fingers ran dull and for me there was no tomorrow?  Or if tomorrow for him was a better tomorrow, filled with roses of the best quality and seeing people in dresses walk past with no hope in his mind of a ring on my finger?

If you keep listening, I will listen too. Fine qualities of sound.  Do you not know that each tendril of hair, each object mine eyes glimpse, every sound I made, every desire my heart invisibly whispered (or ached so loud anyone who looked carefully enough would see) were as the notes of a masterful classical composition?

Piano, where my heart had weeped over the no more body of that one soul.  But such is loss.  It gives you no more than it takes.  I wished for another to take her place in the manner of teaching this art and of talking this art and of listening to me be this art and of giving this art to me.  Then we could bond as friends and no more evade each others' existences, pretending the others' feet not walk the ground in tender humility and soft conscience before God.  For such were our hearts and lives.  And it was to always be that way, said of our hearts, that they walked with that tender humility and soft conscience before God.

To be honest, I wanted a living room. with.  to be.

Just one more song?  Why did you stop?

Go to the next song.  If it was the Lord.  I don't want to be too trusting of what my mind just thought, lest ye smite me with a stone saying I said that which He didn't say.  oh, tomorrow's song was only followed by Agust, not tomorrow's song, and Lag Fyrir Ommu by myself.  I served the Lord by prayer in that moment.  The next song didn't come, the next song didn't come!!!  Why?!?!